In a Dubai hotel suite in more luxurious and sprawling than actual castles, six women bicker about the schedule of a chronically ill woman.
In a Jamaican resort, a grown woman berates another for being passed over for a job opportunity.
In a beach house in Maryland, one woman insults another for allowing her husband and owner of the house to stay the night during a “girl’s weekend.”
These incidents of cringe-worthy pettiness have all taken place on various editions of Bravo’s The Real Housewives’ series--Beverly Hills, Atlanta and Potomac, respectively. If what used to make for addictive, live-tweetable television now feels like an exasperating, brain cell killing waste of time, you may have Housewives Fatigue.
A few weeks ago, James Kennedy and lip-liner lovin’ Lala Kent from Bravo’s dirty guilty pleasure reality show, “Vanderpump Rules,” dropped more f-bombs on a live broadcast of “Watch What Happens Live!” than the characters in a Quentin Tarantino film. You could almost hear producers signing their pink slips; and thanks to the censors, not much else.
Even host celebrity-scandal addicted host Andy Cohen, who once famously had Lady Gaga’s pee turned into perfume, was horrified: "They didn’t stop cursing, and I was really irritated. The viewers hated it. They were cursing so much, whoever our censor is, they’re very liberal, and every time you say a curse word, they block out the sentence before, the sentence after, so it’s like the whole episode was on mute. And it was very irritating. It just left a really bad taste in my mouth,” Cohen told BravoTV.com
So how does a show about the bed-hopping, partner-swapping, profane waitstaff of “Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills” star Lisa Vanderpump’s sexy restaurant Sur earn even a modicum class? By getting a theme-song remix from a sexy and sophisticated Oscar winner, of course!
Tuesday morning, wife and dedicated Instagrammer Chrissy Teigen posted a video of hubby John Legend performing a sultry version of the show’s now famous opening song for a friend, and it's even better than you can imagine. His glamour and charisma elevates Vanderpump's rep...at least until some bangs someone else’s boyfriend. Watch and swoon below!
Unlike overpriced Hermes handbags, every season of Bravo's "The Real Housewives" has its own unique in its own over-the-top, captivating flare. The women of New York are neurotic, anxiety-driven whack-a-doodles who talk so fast and so much that they can insult each other without the others realizing it until hours later. The Beverly Hills wives are so deliciously connected that every conversation feels like a behind-the-scenes tell-all come to life. Atlanta offers the best catchphrases ("Fix it, Jesus"; "Gone With The Wind Fabulous"; "Bloop") and supportive friendships.
However, every franchise is built on a catty, insecure, zany foundation that's vintage Housewives, and it must be celebrated! If you are 21 and over, you can play Small Screen Girl's Real Housewives Drinking Game! An since Housewives diets are more regulated than American gun sales, you can trade alcohol for bites of your favorite carby or chocolaty treat, if you're underage, don't like alcohol or just hungry! #DrinkResponsibly
Take a drink or a bite if the following happens:
There is a montage of a Housewife's gigantic and impeccably decorated home.
A Housewife is frazzled during the set-up of a party, even though the caterers and event planners are doing all of the work.
A few Housewives decide that a glamorous party or a charity event is the perfect time to hash out their problems. It does not go well.
A tiny disagreement between two Housewives becomes an episodes-long fiasco with people taking sides and possible hashtags (#whatdidHarrydo #tablegate #scaryisland).
Small Screen Girl
I am an unabashed pop culture and TV-aholic with no plans to ever seek treatment. Explore this blog and see just how deep my obsession goes.