Ration your tea, everyone, because this season of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” is about to spill it all. The teaser, which featured scrumptious tidbits of jaw-dropping drama, choreographed African dance, tears, and someone unconscious on the floor, was enough to send me induce guilty-pleasure euphoria. And the episode itself was stuffed with plenty of pearl-clutching moments that I didn't even notice the absence of NeNe Leakes. Bloop!
Grab your favorite cocktail and let's break this episode down, shall we? Duchess Porsha. In an wincingly ironic twist, we find the ever-glam Porsha in a new relationship with Buffalo Bills’ safety, Duke Williams. She showers him with luxury hotel suite, and designer clothes. He arrives with a backpack and a dopey smile--he's a bit young, you see. It's a complete role-reversal from her marriage to former football player and all-American douchebag Kordell Stewart, who loved to pamper and dress her (while treating her like garbage). Porsha is merely taking charge of her love life with "no apologies," and from the three minutes of giggly, gropey screen time Duke gets, I don't get any creeper vibes yet. I will only worry when Porsha starts restricting his behavior and telling him to retire from football so he can maintain the home. #BlackGirlGlamour. Atlanta’s sidewalks must be made entirely of red carpets and runways because nearly all of the women worked seriously fabulous fashions. From Phaedra’s black outfit complete with a mini-cape and longer, sultry locks to Porsha’s elegant white dress with the sassy change purse pockets to Marlo’s complicated banded black jumpsuit, the Atlanta women serving us Black Girl Glamour. Moore Manor. It’s not remotely shocking that resident villain and shit-stirrer, Kenya Moore found a house in mere feet away from Chateau Sheree. Moore Manor is light years beyond a fixer-upper, but it does have good bones (said bones may be infested with snakes and termites, though). It’s not a Real Housewives season without some murky real estate woes, so Kenya’s treacherous moneypit definitely fills that requirement. Her insistence to throw shade at the unfinished Chateau Sheree is all in devious fun. Until it's not.
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This week’s episode marks an annual “Supernatural” event: star Jensen Ackles steps behind the camera for the fifth time to direct! “The Bad Seed” is packaged with enough flashy, macabre humor to mask a predictable and slight plot.
The boys still have to contend with an angel cursed with an attack dog spell and a “primal force” with a nasty craving for souls. Sam and Dean both agree that the only way to save Castiel, who is having horrifying angel seizures as the curse digs deeper, is to force Rowena to reverse the spell; and best way to find out any information on The Darkness is to track down Metatron. Grab your favorite wig and let’s dive in, shall we? YOU GET A COVEN! AND YOU GET A COVEN! We find the fabulously coifed witch trying to build her own coven. But it’s not just old coven you that meets at the local community center, it’s a MEGA-COVEN!!! *cue confetti cannons* When the potential recruits don’t react like “Oprah” audience members winning European cruises, she kills most of them in an excruciating way that at least offers easy clean up. Rowena (Ruth Connell) actually escapes by the end of the episode. Is it bad that I actually want to see what her MEGA-COVEN in action? Evil Mary Poppins. Like mother, like son. Crowley (Mark Sheppard) has the same overwrought flare as his Rowena, and he’s channeling it into raising an obedient dark force. He gets her a demonic nanny dressed like Mary Poppins, gourmet chocolates and all the translated Hitler speeches and human souls she desires. Amara likes her studies and does them without complaint. She realizes that humanity means suffering, loneliness and then death. And she's not sure why. Baby, you and me both. Crowley wants to harness Amara’s power—whatever that may be—Amara has other plans. “Good, evil, heaven, hell. It all seems so unimportant. I don’t think you’re seeing the big picture.” Something tells me that picture may not include humanity at all. Honestly, the Crowley-Amara scenes should have been trimmed to make room for more action. Crowley’s gothic-castle version of hell is as ominous as a M. Night Shyamalan movie. For all he claims to be a bigger, badder King of Hell, Crowley spent an entire episode fetching frilly things for a little girl.
There is a certain comfort and frustration when watching your favorite, long-running television show. Like putting on an old sweater, it fits perfectly, provides some warmth, and you already know where will chafe and irritate. I felt such when tuning into "Out Of The Darkness, Into The Fire" and "Form and Void", the first two episodes of "Supernatural's" eleventh season.
Dean (Jensen Ackles) emerges from The Darkness as gorgeous as ever, barking orders and omitting information. Sam trails behind him, hair whipping up in the wind, obediently swallowing his concerns. They wander through a town of poor, mostly dead humans, save the pretty new deputy with the shockingly blue eyes, and prepare to kill their way out of the latest version of the end of days, and fly out of town to save Castiel. It’s reminiscent of season 2's "Croatoan" or Season 3's "Jus In Bello" or season 5's “Good God, Y’all” or "99 Problems” but peppered with enough one-liners and gore to keep things interesting. "Supernatural" is an old dog, yet I’m still entertained by the repetitive tricks. Except over the summer, they seemed to have learned new ones. |
Small Screen GirlI am an unabashed pop culture and TV-aholic with no plans to ever seek treatment. Explore this blog and see just how deep my obsession goes. Categories
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