Surprising no one, His Royalty Highness of Hotness and British Things announced his engagement to girlfriend, American actress and humanitarian Meghan Markle on Monday. And y'all, he proposed to her while she was making chicken. Take notes everyone: Lawry's doesn't just make your food taste better, it fosters a romance for the ages.
Now I've now I've never really been that interested in the royals before. I mean, Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton seem lovely and about as dry as an English tea biscuit. So why do I care now? I'll let Issa Rae take this one:
Dear Justin Timberlake,
As a proud stan for 17 years, I feel like we have the kind of relationship in which we can be honest with each other. I mean, I stuck with you during the Britney Spears years, the cornrows and the decades-long hellatuses between albums. I traveled to NYC for the release of your first solo album and I saw you on your last tour FIVE times in two different states. Sometimes I worry that I'm on some sort of list.
But I can't worry about that when reports are swirling that you are close to becoming the official half-time act for the 2018 Super Bowl.
Please understand when I say the following:
Let me preface this by saying that I try not to get too political on my blog, but it's hard not to get swept up in the pomp and circumstance and not to mention the actual history made at the DNC this week when Hillary Clinton accepted the nomination for President of the United States, becoming the first woman to ever do so. Just a little glass ceiling shattering going on here. Kind of a big deal.
But I digress. This might not be something you say every day, but I do: Thank God for Twitter...and that block button.
Throughout this dumpster fire of an election, the social media platform can be a cathartic place to vent frustrations, unload with humor and find that you’re not alone.
It’s also cluttered with so many clever, hilarious contributors that often leave me in awe of their rapid-fire wit. When I was sprawled on the couch watching the Democratic National Convention this week, and was finally introduced to a Hillary Clinton’s pick for Vice President, a sweet, salt-of-the-earth man named Sen. Tim Kaine, who speaks Spanish and is folksier than your dad eating apple pie in a cornfield on the Fourth Of July, I immediately flocked to Twitter to join in the brilliant and shockingly kind welcome to the political spotlight. And they didn't disappoint, believe me.
Here are some of the brilliant and hilarious tweets about the new potential VP.
On Tuesday, we reached another significant milestone in the the infuriating, soul-crushing, “is this shit really happening in 2016?” hellscape that is the current presidential election: Hillary Rodham Clinton is now the official Democratic nominee.
It is the first time in our nation's 240-year history a woman has been the official nominee of a major party in a presidential election.
Some are celebrating. Others are burning pants suit effigies. The rest are rapt with an overwhelming sense of meh. While HRC is nowhere near the dumpster fire-levels of suckage that is Donald Trump’s platform of racism, sexism, homophobia, and general sliminess, she’s lightyears away from a dream presidential candidate, especially if you reveled in the "Yes We Can" optimism of President Obama's previous elections.
At this point, I’d sooner vote for Francis J. Underwood. But these are the cards we’ve been dealt, and the least crappy hand has to be played.
So how do outraged Americans cope? By venting on social media, of course!
Twitter user Mad Black Thot capitalized on her democratic depression by creating the hashtag #GirlIGuessImWithHer, and Black Twitter took it from there. The inventive hashtag quickly exploded into a hilarious and bleak catharsis on our collective political purgatory and being forced to back the less diabolical candidate.
Here are the best #GirlIGuessImWithHer tweets:
The music gods may have just answered our Timber-prayers. Justin Timberlake might be making music again!
On Thursday, the nine-time Grammy winner incited a social media frenzy by sharing a black and white snap of him in the studio with The Voice judge, uber-producer and friend, Pharrell Williams along with the mysterious caption: “Currently…” The picture received a blazing 250,000 Likes in a matter of hours as fans gushed over the prospect of a fourth JT LP.
Even the most vocal of songbirds need to rest their pipes.
Kelly Clarkson just announced that she has canceled the rest the remaining “Piece By Piece” tour dates in Canada and England to stay on vocal rest. “Unfortunately my doctor is telling me I have to stay on vocal rest, but I am working hard to get better as fast as possible,” she announced on her website. Clarkson also cancelled a string of U.S. dates in mid-September as well.
What’s the best way to send her some serious Get Getter Juju than to appreciate the audible magic that is Kelly Clarkson’s voice? The expectant Grammy winner takes song requests from fans on tour, and has essentially Kelly-fied your playlist! Here are some of my favorites! Listen and then take a moment to send her some much-deserving love!
No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”
You may not have been born when this song was popular, but “Don’t Speak” used to be everyone’s go-to pity party theme song. Now, it’s given a bewitching spit-shine, thanks to Clarkson’s dynamic chops.
Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River”
This angry break-up song from Timberlake’s white-hot first solo album has been recharged with scathing lightning in Clarkson's rendition. Hell hath no fury, and all that.
Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off”
Clarkson transform’s last year’s inescapable pop ditty into a soulful, church anthem that’s lightyears beyond the original.