You have probably done or at least pretended to do some spring cleaning. You know that torturous
de-cluttering that happens when the world is thawing out from its winter sluggishness.
The only thing more cruel than spring cleaning is Fall Cleaning. This isn't packing away all of your shorts
and capris in exchange for your winter sweaters. Adulting is hard enough without all that nonsense.
I'm talking about cleaning out your DVR to make room for the 2017-18 TV shows that are airing now!
Right now, my DVR is clogged with reruns of Friends and soap operas, brainless TV shows I toss on while I'm writing. They gotta go, and for the hardest part: I have to re-evaluate my season passes.
I'm sure I'm somewhere on the hoarding spectrum, that's true for clothes, junk and television shows. I will watch an aging show with the same ferocity that I'll cling to that rainbow tye-dyed shirt from 1997 because my high school crush thought it was cute and because Phoebe wore it in the early seasons of Friends.
Unfortunately, like that door in Titanic, there's only so much room, so some shows needs to sacrificed to the icy waters of oblivion. Here are four shows that I won't be watching regularly this season...
Hawaii Five-0, CBS
For a show that has spent nearly a decade preaching about ohana, the producers and network sure don't
practice it. Earlier this year, Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park parted ways with the long-running action series after they were denied raises that matched series stars Alex O'Loughlin and Scott Caan (Note: Caan misses
five episodes per season and still makes substantially more than Kim and Park).
CBS maintains that they offered the actors "substantial raises" but it wasn't on par with that of O'Loughlin
and Caan. While SSG will rant about how disrespectful and racist it is, and how that's unsurprising coming
from a network that churns out shows for the "economically anxious" white male, Daniel Dae Kim remained gracious and professional at this summer's TCA event for ABC's The Good Doctor, a new series he’s
producing. “It’s possible to be grateful and respectful, and still maintain a steadfast sense of your
It looks like karma may be on our side as Daniel Dae Kim is in talks to replace Ed Skrein’s vacated role in
the Hellboy reboot.
Elsewhere on CBS (and this article), the cast of core cast of The Big Bang Theory voluntarily took a paycut, so Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch could receive a more substantial raise, People.com reports. O'Loughlin and Caan have remained disappointingly and greedily silent.
Causal racism aside, Hawaii Five-0's quality has been steadily dwindling to the point where flashes of a
shirtless McG or death-defying stunts can't even outshine the horrendous writing that has never fully made use of the serious chops this cast has with fully fleshed out and properly paced storylines. What happened to McG's PTSD? Why did they turn Danny, the big-hearted curmudgeon, into an idiot that literally hates
everything? Why is Jerry even there? Why do they keep bringing back Dog The Bounty Hunter? If they ever answer these questions, I won’t be around for the answers.
When Suits debuted seven years ago, it was a slick, fun series that I dubbed "The Good Wife's cooler younger brother." The series featured an admittedly ridiculous but entertaining premise trouble kid (Patrick J.
Adams) who poses as a lawyer and uses his eidetic memory to win cases. Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht), a risk-taking closer, is bored by all the winning in the courtroom, takes him under his wing and finds
newfound thrill in their shared fraud.
Suits had everything--bromance, intrigue, legal ease, a stunning cast (that includes Gina Torres and a soon-
to-be princess Meghan Markle) and lax censors, thanks to its home on USA Network. Over the years, the
show became less about Batman and Robin of the legal world, and more about men in suits screaming at each other and jumping larger and larger sharks.
Suits became totally out of style when Mike was finally busted for fraud, and went to prison, only to get a
sweetheart deal and get sprung after about 12 days in the joint and do some legal shark-jumping to get
Mike back at Pearson, Specter, Litt. Practing law.
The series could've taken major creative turn with a time-jump that saw Mike spend his entire stint in jail only to work at the legal clinic after he was sprung. Or Mike and Harvey could've started their own firm after
Jessica's departure and Mike's crimes had tainted the firm's reputation.
After seven years, even a classic suit needs some tailoring. But instead the show clung it its old styles like
grandpa to his wingtips, and for that, it's gotta go.
Fuller House, Netflix
“Whatever happened to predictability?” is the first line of the classic Full House’s opening credits. Well no
worries, predictability is the 14th resident of Netflix’s head-scratching re-boot of the Fuller House. It finds a widowed mother-of-three DJ living with her younger sister Stephanie, her best friend, Kimmie, Kimmie’s
While the first two seasons were a decent grab at nostalgia during during polar vortexes or sleepless nights, the third season is about as deep as a Kardashian’s Instagram feed. Once you wade through the horrific
musical numbers, nonsensical plotlines and horrific dialogue, you’ll find that Fuller House doesn’t isn't
actually about anything. The opportunities to impart real lessons are utterly and purposefully left unfulfilled. During “Declarations of Independence,” the genuinely funny Fernando insists on speaking in a Joe Six-
Pack American accent to celebrate the country's birth. This is a wonderful chance for Kimmie to point out
that immigrants ARE as American as apple pie and blowing shit up, and yet nothing.
And don’t get me started about the lack of reality. How is Stephanie trying to have a baby when she has no job, no place to live and no way to pay for the $200,000 IVF and surrogacy costs? Why are the parents
constantly going through great financial costs to keep the children happy? And once the show pushes DJ, who’s happily dating the hot Dr. Matt, towards her high school sweetheart and giant dweeb Steve, I
groaned so hard, Uncle Joey popped out of the closet to tell me to cut it out.
If you want to watch a hilarious and endearing remake of a classic sitcom sans saccharinely precocious kids, check out the lovely and modern One Day A Time.
The Big Bang Theory, CBS
One of my favorite winter activities is to throw on reruns and get my bake on, and for years my go-to show
used to be The Big Bang Theory. I generally LOVE sitcoms, and The Big Bang Theory helped breathed new
life into an aging genre.
However in recent years, the show has become a parody of itself. Sheldon has morphed from a troubled,
neurotic genius to a sexist, racist, selfish baffoon. Thus it makes it incredibly frustrating to watch the
fantastic Mayim Baliak’s Amy be beaten down by Sheldon’s selfishness and insecurities. There’s no denying she loves him, but sometimes that’s not enough. The love affair between Penny and Leonard has become
unromantic and stalled for the sake of the show’s longevity.
While all of the characters have gotten married, had children and made huge strides in their career, Raj
(Kunal Nayaar) has been all but ignored. While he has overcame his hysterical muteness after six long
seasons, both his personal and professional life has utterly stalled. It's so infuriating to watch Raj remain to be the butt of their increasingly racist jokes and while his character development is overlooked the writers
that I refuse to do it anymore.
What series passes are you deleting this season? Hit up the comments section below!
Photo Credits: facebook/hawaii-five-0; usanetwork.com; netflix.com, cbs.com
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Small Screen Girl
I am an unabashed pop culture and TV-aholic with no plans to ever seek treatment. Explore this blog and see just how deep my obsession goes.