'Justice League' Trailer: I Have Questions

If you had Saturday morning plans that were abruptly canceled, it might be because DC just dropped the first full-length trailer for Justice League.  Let the analysis and hunting for Easter Eggs begin! 

I fully admit that this Small Screen Girl is a ride-or-die Marvel girl who believes DC’s strength lies in its television shows as long as Zack Snyder is at the helm of the films.  Yet I was riveted by the trailer, particularly by all things Aquaman (Jason Momoa) and Cyborg (Ray Fisher). 
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Like most of DC’s contributions to the superhero cinematic world, I have questions...

Why is Barry Allen wearing a metal suit?  
​Clearly, Justice League takes place in a heightened reality, but it’s still an off-shoot of actual reality.  I got a C- in chemistry but even I know that the science behind Barry Allen’s (Ezra Miller) suit doesn’t make sense on a basic level.  Speed produces friction.  Friction creates heat.  Therefore, if Barry bolts around the city with super speed, he’d most likely produce enough friction to melt the suit and roast himself alive in the process.  

The Flash television show touched on this, too.  Barry’s supersuit is a friction and fire-resistant leather designed for firefighters, which also doesn’t hinder his stride like clunky metal would. Or maybe Wayne Enterprises purchased some friction-proof metal from NASA?

The answer is probably closer to a philosophy fashionistas know all too well: form over function.  Metal Iron Man-eqsue suits seem to be popular these days no matter how dorky and ineffective they may be.  The newly revamped Power Rangers rock them too, which seems too constricting for combat.  Superheroes are slaves to fashion.  Who knew?

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Why isn't the Aquaman movie out yet?!
I'm almost as excited about Arthur Curry's solo flick as I am about Marvel's Black Panther, and this waiting is fangirl torture.  Look at this BAMF!  In this case it stands for Badass Merfucker!

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Why does DC and director Zack Snyder insist on using that anemic, emo blue-gray filter? 
Comic books have been a massive part of pop culture for decades, and a paramount part of their iconography is artistry and bright, bold colors.  Snyder & Co. have nailed the artistry with their sleek slow-motion shots that illustrate Barry Allen’s speed, Wonder Woman’s BAMF-ness and Aquaman’s marine majesty.  So DC’s insistence on using the drabbest of colors is as baffling as it is depressing.

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Speaking of colors, specifically red and blue...where the hell is Superman?! And can you even call it the Justice League without the original caped crusader?
​I know he died in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I pretend that dumpster-fire of a movie doesn’t exist.  I need Henry Cavill’s Superman to return in all his impeccably-muscled glory.  I’m fairly certain Clark Kent will have some kind of presence in Justice League, because it would be superhero blasphemy for him not to.

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Is Joe Morton AKA Scandal’s Papa Pope going to read Bruce Wayne for filth for the entire movie?
I would gleefully pay to watch Bruce Wayne be cured of his Affluenza 50-11 times.

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Finally, why is Wonder Woman wearing the skimpiest costume? 
It’s not a good look when the sole female member of the Justice League is kicking ass in Beyonce’s spare leotard, especially when the ALL of the male members are fully covered as warriors should be.  Don’t get it twisted:  I’d never shame a woman for flaunting her flawlessness, especially Gal Gadot. I only support Equal Opportunity Objectification.  If Wonder Woman is half-dressed, then the rest of the team should be too.

You could argue that Wonder Woman is bulletproof and doesn’t need to be covered or any type of armor, and you’re right.  But so is Superman, Aquaman and about 83% of Cyborg, and yet they’re dressed like Diane Keaton at a yoga class. 

Superman hasn’t worn his underpants on the outside of his clothes in nearly 25 years—thank God—because his costume has been modernized.  There’s no legitimate reason why Wonder Woman’s duds haven’t been either. 

Though the fanboys will try, it’s undeniable that Wonder Woman’s is outfitted purely for the male gaze, which isn’t a problem if the men were dressed for the female gaze (Note: I understand there are also many other sexual and gender complexities to be factored in but most broad mediums don’t work like that).  Or if you outfit them equally.  Marvel figured this out years ago, and everybody lived, except for the old box office records they continually smash. #SorryNotSorry

What did you think of the Justice League trailer?  Hit up the comments below.

Photo Credits: Twitter.com; Hypable.com; NME.com