I would bet that work productivity ground to a halt around 8am Wednesday morning, because that's when Marvel Studios dropped the much-anticipated trailer for Avengers: Infinity War. I hope you stretched because watching, even this professional and veteran blerd sprained her fangirl. I am shook!
Avengers: Infinity War stars a boatload of celebrities, pulling in fan favorite characters from all their franchises. Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chadwick Boseman, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Don Cheadle, Tom Holland and more all join forces to defeat the supremely evil Thanos.
According to Marvel, Thanos, a intergalactic warmonger, is closer to reaching his goal of collecting all six infinity stones (a running theme throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe), which threatens the universe's very existence.
Such high stakes requires a bleaker tone and plenty of facial hair, and the Russo brothers did not disappoint. "There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people...so we could fight the battles," Nick Fury and Tony Stark begin, citing the beginning of the Avengers themselves with a marked and pearl-clutching finality. The trailer (below) is mind-blowingly fantastic, and as usual, I have questions.
Why does Thanos look like that one uncle you can't mess with?
We all have that one relative that's jacked AF and while he's nice, that glint in his eye and the wild stories your cousins tell lets you know that only he has a much shorter tolerance for silliness than the rest of the family. Thanos is that guy and that villain. He makes the previous superhero big bads, especially Ulton, look like, well a puppet from a children's fairytale. He's got the evil swagger and the Infinity bling to back it up. This war will be gut-wrenchingly epic, and I'm worried about who won't will survive it.
How will we survive three Chrises on screen?!
The trailer boasts not one but THREE incredibly fine Chrises of the Marvel universe. Thor (Hemsworth) joins forces with Chris Pratt's Peter Quill. Meanwhile, Evans hold court in Wakanda. What will happen if all three of them are in the same frame?! I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure holy trinities of hotness is how infinity stones are forged. With their biceps combined...
Who is the hottest Chris? Share your answer in the comments. And yes, there is a right answer.
Is Steve and Bucky's happy ending in Wakanda?
When some Infinity War footage leaked at Disney's D23 Expo in July, I was left awestruck by Captain America's beardand the explosions and stuff, but mainly the beard. You may remember that Steve and Bucky, now fugitives and war criminals, sought refuge in the secretive nation of Wakanda. And apparently it's the best spot for relaxation and glow ups. In addition to the fantastic facial hair, and all black everything, Cap and Bucky look like they've been feasting on Wakandan stews and collard greens, training with the Dora Milaje and enjoying all that beautiful and bountiful fruits of Africa. Judging from that epic "Get that man a shield" moment in the trailer, T'Challa also has great respect and possibly affinity for Cap (This also begs another question: Is Captain America's suit made of vibranium?!).
I am praying to the Wakandan spirits that Steve and Bucky will settle down in Wakanda and have little warriors of their own after the battle.
Why did I enjoy Thanos mollywhoppin' Tony Stark so much?
He deserves it for creating the villain in Avengers: Age of Ulton and then making sure everyone but him faced the consequences in Captain America: Civil War. Fight me.
When will Thor catch a break?!
SPOILER ALERT for the 14 people who haven't seen Thor: Ragnarok! Thor endured it all in his third franchise film. He lost his father, his eye and his home planet. You would think that he'd get a second to recover, but the trailer depicts him in epic danger again. He's seen fighting to shut down, steer or turn on something incredibly important and heavy. At least he gets a last-minute reprieve from the Guardians of the Galaxy. And hopefully Valkyrie is at his side.
Why is Pepper Potts on one of four Vanity Fair covers when she's not even in the trailer or a superhero?
Her spot could've been used for one of the few women of color that were excluded from cover spots, like Gamora, Oyoke, and Valkyrie.
What did you think of the Avengers: Infinity War trailer? Hit up the comments below!
Photo Credits: comicbook.com; vanityfair.com