Unlike overpriced Hermes handbags, every season of Bravo's "The Real Housewives" has its own unique in its own over-the-top, captivating flare. The women of New York are neurotic, anxiety-driven whack-a-doodles who talk so fast and so much that they can insult each other without the others realizing it until hours later. The Beverly Hills wives are so deliciously connected that every conversation feels like a behind-the-scenes tell-all come to life. Atlanta offers the best catchphrases ("Fix it, Jesus"; "Gone With The Wind Fabulous"; "Bloop") and supportive friendships.
However, every franchise is built on a catty, insecure, zany foundation that's vintage Housewives, and it must be celebrated! If you are 21 and over, you can play Small Screen Girl's Real Housewives Drinking Game! An since Housewives diets are more regulated than American gun sales, you can trade alcohol for bites of your favorite carby or chocolaty treat, if you're underage, don't like alcohol or just hungry! #DrinkResponsibly
Take a drink or a bite if the following happens:
There is a montage of a Housewife's gigantic and impeccably decorated home.
A Housewife is frazzled during the set-up of a party, even though the caterers and event planners are doing all of the work.
A few Housewives decide that a glamorous party or a charity event is the perfect time to hash out their problems. It does not go well.
A tiny disagreement between two Housewives becomes an episodes-long fiasco with people taking sides and possible hashtags (#whatdidHarrydo #tablegate #scaryisland).
Take a double-shot or a double-bite for a tipsy or drunk housewife.
"I just want to move forward."
A housewife uses slang, and it's cringe-worthy.
The Housewives scramble for the best room on their trip.
A housewife seems to have a lot of money, but has a confusing real estate situation. Read: If you're rich, why are you renting?
A simple girls' night is turned into an elaborately staged event.
Someone obsesses about the size of their booty.
There is a physical confrontation...
...that is dissected and re-told in with more angles than SportsCenter.
Someone is uninvited from a party.
There's an over-eager, try-hard friend who will do anything for screentime.
Shopping montage! A housewife drops an obscene amount of money because she "deserves it."
There is a lunch to try to address everyone's issues and move on.
There is a gag-inducing Botox, colonic, plastic surgery procedure or waxing scene.
A housewife accuses another of being a follower, completely fake or a puppeteer.
Let's talk about sex, baby!
"She threw me under the bus!"
There is a nauseatingly uncomfortable argument between a housewife and her househusband.
The not-so-rare Housewife Ugly-Cry.
The wives are all turned against one person.
A housewife is accused of faking tears or a potentially fatal illness.
"The Real Housewives Of Atlanta" airs on Sundays at 8/7c and "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs on Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo!
Photo Credits: play.google.com; http://allrealhousewives.tumblr.com/
Small Screen Girl
I am an unabashed pop culture and TV-aholic with no plans to ever seek treatment. Explore this blog and see just how deep my obsession goes.